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The 3 minute relationship

  • Writer: Devon Havenaar
    Devon Havenaar
  • Apr 29, 2024
  • 3 min read

If you build relationships right the first time you'll never get a call back.


Have you ever used somebody? I'm talking at work- tried to manipulate people, turn things in your favour or step on others to get “ahead?”


And I've got an even more awkward question… 

The person you stepped on- years later did you end up seeing them somewhere and they were successful and you needed to forge a professional relationship with them?

Or did you actually find yourself needing their help/ expertise a short while later? Ya, that's awkward. They stare at you like they never forgot the things you did, or didn't do. Maybe you can relate- maybe someone has done that to you.


It's a simple concept. 

Rework on jobs is just as expensive as rework on relationships.


It's a weird dynamic in construction where you can use other people to get a job done with no pushback from others. It’s celebrated. It's not wrong to celebrate achievements through other people but what's wrong is when you don't share the thank you’s and the gratitude you might receive. It’s wrong when the only goal is making yourself look good and advancing your own careers.


I recently saw this in action. A foreman I know (let's call him Simon) never got along with one of his employees (let's call him Alex.) Simon continually made a whole bunch of money, praise and recognition off of Alex’s back. He never gave out recognition and continually degraded Alex telling him he could never be anything in life, never be a supervisor. Talk about toxic. Luckily Alex is a self-motivator and took a job elsewhere for a company that sees his value. Fast forward a couple of years and Alex is the foreman at his new company. Alex and Simon are now on the same massive city job and have to work together almost daily representing each company. But now things have changed; Alex has the upper hand and continually makes Simon's life hard in whatever way he can. This could all have been avoided if relationships were formed properly from the start!


Although it might be justified, it certainly doesn't make the general contractor any money having two trades fighting every day. Each day they mess with each other is a shot at the morale, productivity and profitability of each company. It would have been much simpler for Simon to always treat Alex in a good way; not take advantage of or be taken advantage of but pursue a healthy and professional relationship. 


Most relationships in the trades are formed 2-3 minutes at a time. Think about it. Every time you see another person from another trade you might say hi the first week, then the second week you ask how their weekend was, then the next week you’re helping them for a quick second, then the next week you’re going for a beer together, before you know it you’ve been working together 6 months and are great buds! The 3 minute conversations, and the daily head nods go a long way. You know what I am talking about! 


Challenge for the week: build 1 relationship for 3 minutes at a time and watch how fast that relationship grows to being invited out for a beer!


See you in the pit!



 
 
 

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