So you think you’re pretty tough eh. I used to think I was pretty tough but if you know me in real life, I’m a pretty scrawny, short, and skinny mess of a dude. In my defense I’ve got a pretty good mad-dog face. Just kidding- but let’s move on. The reason I write these blogs is not to talk about myself but rather hopefully serve your life in a small way.
That being said:
Do you know any tough guys? To all the tough people out there- you know who you are. You could get beat down with a 2x4 and then stand back up again and say “good job, now it’s my turn.” You’re tough as nails. We need these types of people in the industry. You’re the backbone of the economy. The warriors getting it done. Since you’re so tough you often have a mad dog face on, have your guard up and respond to interactions with people in harsh tones. Passive aggressiveness is your default and getting close with people proves challenging. But what if being tough could be rewritten? What if it could be something better?
Now today I wanna talk about something that’s tougher. Tougher then, steel, tougher than nails, tougher than roofing in the middle of the summer. You’re probably thinking about Connor McGregor or Mike Tyson but what I want to touch on today isn’t a person, it’s not an idea. It’s something the world needs more of.
The word of the day is “kind.”
And I know I just lost half of the people reading this, but hear me out. If you’re deciding to stick around, thanks for sticking around- you’re rad.
It is tough to be kind to people in this world these days. Some would say it’s impossible, especially with the amount of people that we don’t agree with or people that we think are lazy or dumb. People appear to not deserve the best of us and when we’re already spread really thin giving our attention and kindness to people we don’t know often drains our souls.
I recently ran into one of these situations and it was tough on me for a few weeks if I am honest.
Long story short, I lost my cool in a men’s hockey game, and there’s no excuse, because it’s Saturday night mens league. It’s not important if you win or lose, it's just about having fun because none of us are making the pros anytime soon. One night in particular I guess I was just angry for some reason and I got a few too many hacks to the shins and I lost my cool. It happened fast. At the same time I lost my cool, I also lost some character and reputation. I did some things I am not proud of, I did some things that weren’t me, I said some things I wish I could take back.
The point though is this. It’s tough. Full stop. It’s tough to be kind, it sucks to be kind and it's a lot easier to be unpleasant to people every day, but the toughest people out there are the ones that don’t treat people as they want to be treated, but treat others better than they deserve. And as we try to lead our job sites, families and ourselves better this week check out this quote.
From Alpha Dog by Mark Breslin
Well, here are the top five “costs of being arrogant”: 1. Arrogant leaders generally alienate their followers. 2. Arrogant leaders are rarely worth mentoring up to the next level as they are not interested in self-improvement or able to ask for help. 3. Arrogant leaders are usually terrible listeners; thus, they miss major opportunities. 4. Arrogant leaders usually put their image before strategy. 5. Arrogant leaders rarely admit mistakes; thus, they model poor behavior for peers and subordinates.
This blog isn’t a lesson for anybody or telling you how to live your life. It’s a reflection post on on me. It’s something I need to work on continuously. I need to be better, I need to treat people well. This is what BadLeader is all about, helping each other and holding each other accountable to grow.
Challenge for the week: go around and treat a few people better than they deserve and see how they react. You might not be met with the same kindness you show so be prepared for that. This will take a lifetime to get better. I’ll see you in the pit!
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